A diary of the last eight days of my life
(December 1, 2000 - December 2, 2000)

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December 1, 2000: Mom dropped me off at the hospital. They needed to give me fluids again since I didnt eat the night before. They also gave me appetite stimulant but I guess it is not really helping. Mom came back at noon and was anxious about the lab results. The vet took mom into a room and told mom the lab sent us the results. Mom asked if it is good or bad news. The vet did not say anything. He went on and told mom I was diagnosed with a poorly differentiated transmural neoplasm, with multiple lymphatic emboli. The terms are technical enough he took out a Vet encyclopedia and showed mom what that means. It is a cancer called intestinal Adenocarcinoma or Remangiosarcoma. Both of which have no known cure and are both very aggressive. Chemotherapy has not been successful in treating cats with these cancer types.
December 1, 2000: Mom started to cry, her tears blinded her eyes and she could not absorb everything the vet was saying or reading from his encyclopedia. She could not believe what she was hearing. She has always been optimistic until this moment of truth. Mom was wrong, the tumors are cancerous and this cancer I have is terminal. The vet advised mom to think about doing what is best for me. Mom wanted a second opinion. She took all the lab results and we left the hospital.
December 1, 2000: Mom put me in the car, her tears just could not stop running. We headed for another hospital. Mom has been doing some research on the internet on cats with cancer. She has read on a webpage about this local clinic who was suggested by another cat owner whose cat also had cancer. Mom decided to go there. It was a long wait, finally we got to see the vet. Mom showed her blood test results, operative record and the diagnosis. The vet comforted mom and told her again there is no treatment for this type of cancer. My mom just could not stop crying.
December 1, 2000: The vet asked mom whether she felt it was time for me to go. Mom shook her head. The vet then said what is important now is supportive care. She suggested this pain killing patch and said it might be the pain after the surgery that is causing me not to eat, and if that is the case, the patch will help. Mom being so desperate, agreed to put the patch on me. The vet did not try and test whether I was really in pain. This is the first big mistake mom made.
December 1, 2000: We went home after visiting the second hospital. Mom was devastated. She cried the whole trip driving from the hospital to home. She was also heart broken seeing me getting weaker everyday. I am still not hungry. I am not eating or drinking that whole night. I am scared... I dont want to go to anymore hospital, I will be a good boy. I can barely walk but I still know my way to the litter box. Just dont punish me by doing anything to me or taking me away from home.....
December 2, 2000: Mom brought me to the usual hospital. She explained to the vet I have a pain killing patch on. The vet responded he really does not think I am in pain and that was all he said about the patch. Mom told the vet I did not eat at all the night before. She asked the vet for advise. The vet did not really give much advise, but he told mom we can be more aggressive about my loss of appetite like doing something called tube feeding. Mom has heard of the term, but she did not know it involves another surgery. That's right, call mom ignorant!! She was so desperate she asked the vet to go ahead with tube feeding. The vet told mom to pick me up in 3 hours. This is the second big mistake!!
December 2, 2000: Mom came back after 3 hours. Her heart dropped to the very bottom when she saw me. I have a rubber tube sticking out from the back of my neck. I was completely sedated and appeared to be very weak. They demonstrated to mom how to do the feeding. I am getting even sicker....
December 2, 2000: finally around 1pm we got home. Mom layed me down closed to her. She was telling me to be strong and asking me to please tolerate the uncomfortableness, we can do it together. But I am getting really scared. I feel very weak and sick as well and I dont want to go back to any hospital. I hide from mom.

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